Divorce - The Checklist

When you get divorced, things can get a little bit out of hand. Like marriage was a life changing event, so will be divorce. Eventually, you are now an adult and you will feel at some point, the freshness of youth pumping in your veins again. Therefore, we have come up with a very useful list of things you can do, when the day comes:

- Get a wild animal; not a dog, not a cat, not a fish. Maybe a snake, an iguana or a bat

- Radically change your haircut

- Buy clothes one generation ahead of you

- Get drunk twice a week (or more if you can handle it)

- Practice unsafe sex

- Become a TV sports maniac and subscribe all the paid channels you can imagine

- Same goes for porno TV channels

- Book vacations in places where you know things will happen (Ibiza, Amsterdam, etc..)

- If your boss asks anything, just say you are getting divorced with that stupid face people expect you to do

- Buy a motorcycle

- If you really need a girlfriend, get a foreign one

- Know by heart all the places in town where quality whisky is cheap

- Get a second cell phone (if you're getting divorced you probably have one already)

- Make a divorce party that will make at least three of your friends to file divorce as well

- If someone asks you your civil status, just say the one that suits most the occasion

- Listen to annoying, repetitive music (as loud as possible)

While this list might appear as a very "I don't give a damn" list, this is the way people will see you as a divorced person. Even if you don't practice any of the ideas here displayed. So.. Just do it!

PS: Crazy weekend coming up in Lisbon! Strong chance that next week's post can be about.. you!