The 8 Stages Your Cellphone Goes Through After a Love Breakup

So, this is our first post in English! Bare with us. The reason is related to today's topic: Love. Lately, this blog and his members have noticed, that for some weird reason, many people are going through love breakups. Moreover, love breakups are part of life. In order to live fully, one needs to fall in love once in a while and eventually get fucked in the process (not literally).

After a very careful research we have identified eight specific stages you and your mobile phone go through after a breakup. Either you are the dumper or the dumped. We sincerely hope this can help you with your journey. The stages are described as a girl was dumped by a man but it really doesn't matter. Just adapt the description to your current situation.

Stage 1: Look to your mobile phone every five minutes

Stage 2: After a week without any contact, your ex decides to say something; you reply to the text message and get no reply back. He was just making sure, you won't go away.

Stage 3: After the previous contact, you'll have 3 more days checking the mobile phone every five minutes

Stage 4: Two weeks later and noticing you're not saying anything, your ex sends another text message; this time you're strong enough not to reply

Stage 5: In a beautiful sunny morning you're all relaxed reading the news; you hear your mobile phone bipping for a new text message; you feel an anxiety rush inside. When you check the message, it was just your mobile phone provider saying you have a special discount on your next invoice.

Phase 6: It's your birthday! You get 300 text messages from all over the world and expect your ex to say something. You only get a text from him the next day, with some lame excuse saying he "totally forgot" because he's "so full of work" but he sincerely hopes "everything is alright with you". Yeah, right.

Phase 7: You get absolutely drunk. At 8AM you send a text message to your ex. He doesn't reply.

Phase 8: You have a new boyfriend! Finally!! Your ex finds out and decides to send an 'innocent' text message. You laugh at it and reply. This time, to your actual boyfriend, not the old fart.